The Parable of the Foolish Runner

    A few weeks ago as I was getting ready for my morning run, when I checked my headlamp it was completely dead.  Huh, I thought, I guess I’ll do some stretches while it gets a quick charge and then hopes it lasts for the entire run.  So, I did that.  I left the house with a bright headlamp and quickly forgot that it had been running low at all.

    I usually get in my morning scripture study on gospel library audio during my morning exercise and this particular day I was listening to President Nelson’s recent talk from the Women’s Session.  As he was speaking about physical and spiritual preparedness, I thought of the COVID situation and how our family had done fairly well with preparedness and living through this pandemic. Not perfect by any means, but we’ve done okay.

    And then…shortly after the talk was over my light started to dim and in a matter of 5 minutes, I went from having a pretty bright light to no light at all.  It was still a while until sunrise and I was very much in the dark, 3 miles from home.  My goals and expectations for that run quickly changed from running it at a certain pace to not tripping, not getting hit by a car, and making it safely home.

    As I continued on my run I noticed things I never had before: how close together street lamps were, how lights from cars behind me were very helpful in being able to see, and how lights from cars coming towards me were at first almost blinding, but as my eyes adjusted that light was also helpful in being able to find my way.  I also found myself at times that there were no lights at all, and the only way to find my way in the darkness was to follow the big white line painted on the side of the road.

    As I ran, aside from thinking about how to get more light to see by I thought about the talk I had just listened to and the irony of thinking I was prepared, when in a very real way at that moment, I was not.  I also thought a lot about the parable of the 10 virgins.  5 were wise, 5 were foolish.  For the first time in my life, I took a much deeper look at the foolish virgins.  I was it!  I was the foolish one.  I was the one wandering in the dark with no light.

    How had this happened?  In my foolishness, I hadn’t checked my light the night before and I waited until the last minute to check my preparedness.  When I realized I wasn’t prepared, I quickly “prepared” and hoped it was enough, and foolishly thought it would be.  Then I found it wasn’t enough.  At that point I was desperate.  I went from borrowed light to borrowed light (street lamps, cars, etc.) hoping the light of others would be enough to get me safely home.  Had I met another runner with a headlamp I likely would have wanted to run along with them and have them share their light with me (like the oil with the wise virgins).  If there was a plug on a power pole somewhere I would have wanted to stop and take the time to plug in my light (buy from the market).  The other parallel I found was that I was very late getting home.  I half expected the door to be shut and to not be let in as the parable goes.  Luckily my home was open and I was able to enter and learn from this experience instead.

    I hope you can see the connections that I found.  I also found it interesting that the only way to get through in complete darkness was to follow a straight and narrow white line.  So, let's think together, are we really as prepared as we think we are, or naively going along on light that is “good enough”.  Are we chasing the light in the darkness, hoping to get enough from others to get by instead of preparing beforehand our own light so we can see clearly the path before us?  How do we prepare?  It’s the simple things: personal and family scripture study, prayers, attending our church meetings, tithing, fasting, serving others, fulfilling our callings, ministering to others, trusting in God, following the Holy Ghost.  These simple everyday things bring the light of Christ and the gospel into our lives so we can see brightly, even in the darkness.  We also have the opportunity to teach others how to bring light into their lives, but we can’t do it for them.  Running in the darkness on borrowed light is a scary thing and very unsafe.  At any moment we can take a wrong step and be down on the ground covered in road rash.  We need the light of the gospel to light the path before us so we can see clearly.  I urge you as the foolish runner to prepare now.  Don’t stumble around in the darkness.  Let the light of God light your life and path more and more as you turn to him and follow him.  Christ said, “….I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” - John 8:12.  Each day we can seek Him and find his light more in our lives.

- Originally written to the members of my church's women's group in Nov 2020.

Just Do it (Nike)!

A few weeks ago I noticed my motivation seriously dropping to get out there and get my workouts in.  Something about the cold dark of winter, or the length of marathon training with weeks and weeks to go.  Honestly, I've been working consistently for over 10 years...a little hit and miss before that, but pretty solid for some time.  Working out is a lifestyle for me.  The hardest part about going on vacation for my husband and I is trying to figure out how to get in a run, other cardio, or a strength workout.  Going on vacations seriously mess up the normal routine and I'm always happy to get back to it.

So, I've still been working out...but with motivation lacking, it ended up that I waisted time stalling.  Time that could be spent doing other important things: working, spending time with my family, cleaning my house, reading that list of books I have stacking up, or writing this blog....hmm.

About 3 weeks ago when our family schedule suddenly changed I realized that if I wanted time for all the things I needed to do and still have time for the want to dos, I better get my workout stalling under control.  Honestly guys, this is what it looked like for a few days: Alarm goes off, stubble mostly asleep to the bathroom.  Turn on the light (ahh!), force myself into my workout clothes.   Stumble to the living room for stretches...barely awake now.  I DO not look at my phone, turn on my computer, open a book...anything.  I already know those are a major time sucks and there's always the article that needs read, the email that needs responding to immediately (but really...is anyone else checking email before 6:00 A.M.). Stretches done...now I'm putting on my shoes and heading out the door for a run or to the garage for a bike-ride or strength.  Okay, I'm outside...and it's freezing.  I guess I better get running to warm up.  Alright, I'm running now...kind of.  Somewhere within the first 10 minutes, I wake up, and I'm ready to workout.  My mind wakes up, my energy engages, and I have a great workout.  Is this how you non-morning people always feel?...because really, it's craziness.  In the months when it's not dark and cold, the sun comes up, the bird starts singing and I wake up ready for action. It's blissful!

The forcing is getting easier and I'm getting into a better routine again of just getting up and going.  What got me through and helped me force myself during the last few weeks...nothing less than Nike's slogan, "Just Do It!".  But I'm still tired, I don't want to get out of bed... "Just do it".  I don't want to get on my workout clothes.  It's too cold.  "Just Do It."  Stretching is boring, takes too long, and I hate stretching.  "Just Do It".  It's REALLY cold.  I don't want to go outside.  I don't feel like running.  "Just Do It!".  And somehow even when my heart is not into it my body is and things happen.  I end up with the sense of accomplishment that I did my workout and I can move on to the rest of my day.  Running also gives me a lot of energy (not every time), and so I feel a lot better physically and emotionally when I run.

Looking back I've had this approach to exercise for a long time, but didn't have words for it.  I've often had people ask me how I can run so far, so fast, so long...blah, blah, blah.  It's called training.  You pick a plan or make your own and you follow it.  Every day I know my workout and I get up and do it.  Is it always exciting?  No.  Do I always hit my fastest times?  Absolutely not.  Actually most of the time my workout doesn't even say to hit my fastest time (about that another time).  Workouts get down, progress happens by this kind of attitude...you just get it done.

Another key to long-term success has been to have a set time that I KNOW works!  When I started distance training, I had a baby and some other little kids at home.  That was no joke of a time to take on something that ambitious.  How did I make it work?  I found a time, a place, etc. that I knew would work at least 95% of the time.  So, for me, first thing in the morning was that time.  My husband works pretty early in the morning and I knew he'd be around to help with the kids if I could get my workout in before he left.  Unfortunately (and not), he also started training, so long weekend runs became difficult.  We worked it out with me still running early morning, but I spent most of those years with really little kids on my treadmill in the garage with my baby monitor close by.  I trained for my first 3 marathons on a treadmill.  I know it sounds crazy, and it was, but it was what needed to happen to make it work for our family.

Anyway, I guess my takeaway is that it's so important to not let excuses get in the way of your goals.  If something is really important to you, make it work in your life.  I'm still learning how to apply this principle to other aspects of my life (especially food).  I'm excited to keep going through those days when there are slumps in motivation and reach my upcoming goals...and I'm super excited for the sun and birds to come back (come on spring!).

THE Marathon!

I'm currently training for Marathon #5.   It will be about 4 1/2 years since my last marathon.  I didn't start distance running until my late 20's and then I got kind of hooked.  I gradually increased my race distance after my last pregnancy from 5K to 5 miles to 10K and then to a 1/2 marathon.  My 1st half marathon I trained really hard...but I was inexperienced with the race, and it went kind of awful.  I had taken a red-eye flight across the country to run with my awesome sister-in-law who pretty much is the reason I started distance running...and I was totally wiped out from the travel...and my system was all backed up.  What was supposed to be an awesome race ended up being a major stomach ache and pits stops at miles 10 AND 11 and then I was sick most of the rest of the day (more on that lovely dilemma another time).  Because of my extra stops and other factors I came in 45 seconds slower per mile than I hoped I would have.  But...I kept trying.  I ran several other half marathons, each faster or close to the last pace, until one day...it happened, I finally reach my goal of running an average of 8:00 min/mile.  It was a really great race and also my first "win" - first female.  I thought that was it, but last year I ran two 1/2 marathons, both faster at 7:53 and 7:51 pace.  The 1/2 marathon is a race that I really feel I've got a handle on.  I can finish strong and in good times and I know how to pace myself throughout.

And then...there's the marathon.  For me, the marathon has been a completely different animal.  Most of the time when I've trained for a marathon, it went pretty well.  But...each race something did NOT go well and I've been disappointed again and again.  I've told people time and time again that I did not conquer the marathon, the marathon conquered me.  And that's where it stands.  I've finished 4 marathons, but I haven't finished any of them well...if that makes sense.  I've seen the difference at marathon finish lines.  Everyone puts forth a lot of effort and no doubt the marathon is no joke of a distance, but there are some that come across the finish line having "won" and others that just survived.  I'm still in the survival camp.

My first marathon was actually my best time...just over 4:00 hours.  I trained hard and felt really good until about 18 miles.  And then...I got slower...slower...and slower.  Those last 8 miles just dragged on and on and on.  Somewhere between 22 and 24, we had a steeper downhill and my legs almost completely seized up.  I pushed on through the rest of the race...actually running probably 99% of it, and made it to the finish line.  I came across the finish line completely exhausted, but super proud.  The shocking thing was after a little bit of a rest when I tried to stand up...I really couldn't.  My legs had zero strength.  It took weeks for my legs to recover and for things to feel "normal" again.  Now, to my credit this marathon was rainy...so not only did I finish a marathon, but one in a great deal of rain.  Wahoo!

And then, I did my 2nd marathon.  I was expecting it to be like other races...better every time, but it wasn't.  It was an extremely horrible rainy day...and I got lost on the course...twice.  I openly admit that I cried and since it was a very small somewhat unorganized race, I just quit when I reached 26.2 miles and walked the rest of the way to the finish line, told the race director I got lost and gave him my own clocked finish time.  The marathon had beat me again.

3rd time the charm...right?  No such luck!  My husband and I ran my 3rd marathon together.  He is a much faster runner than I am, so I feel a little silly when I'm all tired and I feel like I'm holding him back, but we decided to do it together.  We traveled a bit, which put us in a different climate.  We trained in 50 and 60-degree weather and on race day in our race location is was over 80 degrees.  The first 10 miles went pretty well and I was enjoying the experience...and then we hit...the sand!  Who in their right mind decided to put the next 10 miles on a sandy trail, I will never know...but curse them!  My speed instantly slowed as I slopped through the sand.  By the time we got out of the sand the heat of the day had sunk in and it was crazy hot and miserable.  We finished...but again, my time was slower, both than my 1st and my 2nd marathons.

Okay, last attempt: #4.  My husband and I again decided to try the same race, but this time, not run it together.  At the time we were living in Japan...so we made it an international marathon by being there!  It was an amazing experience to run a marathon in a foreign country, but the marathon kicked my butt...again.  In Japan, it's very uncommon to close the streets for smaller marathons, so the course is often on a river trail, or in this case...loops of a park.  We kind of forgot that Japan likes to build its parks on unusable hills...making the marathon course 10 - 2.6 mile loops of the park's uphill/downhill course.  That course had some of the steepest things I've ever run...maybe even some stairs if I remember right.  I had been fighting what was likely the beginning of my knee injuries at that time so the uphills were insanely brutal and the downhill killed my knee.  So...I made it..again.  I stopped for way too long at a restroom at mile 17 trying to convince myself and my stomach to finish the race, but I did it.  How did my finish time come in?  It was the worst time yet!  Where my 1/2 marathon times got faster each time...my marathon times have done quite the opposite.

So, as I said, I have yet to conquer the marathon.  In the last 4 years as I've struggled with injury almost anytime I try and train above long runs over 15 miles, the marathon has still been out there...taunting me!  I'm finally strong enough that I'm going to give it another try.  Will this marathon #5 be the time when I finally conquer?  When I come across the finish line will I be satisfied with my accomplishment?  No idea!  I've learned A TON in the last 4 years both from experience, but also from reading lots of books on running, so I think I have a better idea of how to pace and fuel myself for a successful race, but only time will tell.

Injury - it keeps going and going (part 2)

A little over 2 years ago I started struggling with some knee pain that just got worse and worse, no matter what I did.  I ended up going to a Dr. (again) who told me (again) that I just couldn't run for a while.  I gave that a try, but it just wasn't helping, so I begged for a referral to a Physical Therapist.  I got one for several months out.  It ended up being almost six months from the time when my knee pain was near unbearable and affecting my life greatly, even waking me up at night, to the time when the pain was small enough I could run 5K again with only minimal pain.  It was a miserable time in my life and due to stress unrelated to running, but stressors that I usually managed with running, I plunged into the deepest depression of my life.  I won't go into the details of the darkness I experienced at that time, but I will tell you I learned some very important lessons from it all.

One lesson I learned pertaining to running, is that I LOVE it, and want to keep doing it as much and as long as I can.  The other important lesson that I learned is that my time is limited.  There are so many things that could happen that would make it so I could never run again.  That could be a sudden accident, or it could be a slow injury that I never bounce back from.  This realization has made me appreciate running so much more, and I've decided to do everything I can to keep running for as long as I can.

Fast forward to this past summer, the right knee pain hasn't completely gone away, and on top of that my LEFT knee decided it was its turn to give me trouble.  I tried to ignore it a little bit, but decided that wasn't a good idea to ignore pain again. So, I decided to "train" away my injury instead of the ever recommended R.I.C.E.  (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation).  I was okay with the I.C.E part, but not the R...don't get me wrong though, I love rice!

Anyway, for my "training", I kept up my PT from the old Dr., decreased my miles, moved off the hills and onto a track, increased biking to compensate for lost aerobic activity, and slowly started building up as my knee allowed.  It was enough.  I did much better with the reduced running than the non-running and it was great to feel like I was involved in my recovery instead of sitting on the side-lines.  

I also made an appointment with my Dr. who gave me a referral for a Physical Therapist.  Again, I got involved, I called a whole bunch of PT offices until I found someone who specialized (at least a little) in runners.  She's helped me identify and fix some of the issues and felt I was progressing so well that she "graduated me" and put me on a home program.  

The greatest part, while I was recovering from this injury I trained for 5 races (2020 style - virtual): a 5K, two 10Ks, and 2 half marathons.  The craziest part is as I'm recovery and strengthening my weak areas that are causing me injuries something else is happening that I still don't understand.  I'm faster!  At almost 40 years old, I'm faster than I've ever been.  In the last 6 months, I've been able to get new PRs on every distance I've tried (10K, 5 mile, 10 mile, and 1/2 marathon), except the 5K.  My mind is totally blown by this, but I'm continuing to recover and learn more about how to avoid injury so I can keep running in the future.  If a side benefit of all this is that I become not only injury-free but a better runner overall, I'll totally take it.

I'm not completely healed from either my right knee pain or my left, but every week (even while training) I'm getting a little stronger and I'm hoping all this will land me once again to a marathon starting and finish line.  Due to injuries over the years, it's been a long 4 years away from that very challenging (at least for me) race.  Can't wait to be there again!

Injury - It keeps going and going and going

 This will likely be the first of many posts on injury.  I've dealt with running-related injuries my entire life.  I remember in my early teens, even though, I was only running 10 - 15 miles a week, I'd often have major pain in my shins and ankles.  My mom would try and massage them (good lady!) and give me ankle strengthening exercises to try, but the reality was that I was in pain, and if I didn't run the pain was reduced.  I think it was around that time that I went to a Dr. and got orthotics...but neither my parents nor I remember those details clearly.

When I was a junior in High School I was talking to a friend who told me about cross-country.  Coming from a not running family, I honestly had no idea there was such a sport and I was amazed and told her, "I run 3 miles all the time."  I started training with the High School team that summer and it was a blast until it wasn't.  I was quickly injured and had to stop running with the team or even by myself as much. Other things become a priority (work mostly) and in the fall my friend asked if I was still injured.  I told her I wasn't, but that I hadn't practiced and I wouldn't be any good at that point.  So, I never ran a race, not one.  Still one of my High School regrets.  I didn't understand at the time that injury was COMMON for runners and especially with the lack of training that I had and the limited knowledge of my coach, it was bound to happen.

The stories could continue on and on.  It took me a while to learn that if I wanted to stay injury-free, I could only run 3 days a week.  Then I learned that I had to go at my own pace.  Of course, if I try and go at a much faster pace my lungs and muscles start streaming before the injury has a chance to develop, but if I run a much slower pace than I'm used to my injuries flair up again in a matter of a few weeks.  I've also learned that I have to do strength workouts, learned little adjustments to my gait to prevent injury, found shoes that work better for me, on and on...all to stay not injured.

Hills, hills, and more hills

 Hill workout, hill repeats, hill training, it comes by many names, but when it comes down to it, it's the same grueling workout.  You vs. the hill...again and again.  I've managed to avoid hill workouts most of my running "career?", but every once in a while, they pop up and I feel obligated to run them.  This week was one of those times.

The training plan I'm following (Smart Marathon Training - totally recommend) suggested finding the tallest hill in town and having that be your "proving ground".  Ha!  The author obviously doesn't live in MY TOWN.  There are hills around here that are easily a mile long.  I don't think he meant for this to be mile hill repeats.  So, I selected a medium-sized hill and plotted out the steepest 1/4 mile section of it to be "my hill".  Here we go.

On the menu this week was a mile warm-up, 6 hills (1/4 mile up, 1/4 mile down), and a mile cool-down.  5 miles...no biggie...right?  It was so much of a no biggie that I ended up stalling for almost an hour before I realized it was now or never and got out there.  And do you know what?  It was grueling.  At the top of each hill, I was dying and very grateful to turn around and go downhill.  Only to find myself at the bottom staring up again.  Grueling, I tell you!  I ended up eye-balling and cut the hill into thirds and would just focus on that 1/3 of the hill and that made it easier.  Up and down and up and down.  1 hill, 2 hills, 3 hills, and then 3 left, 2 left, and 1 left.  Finished!  I did my cool-down mile and went home happy about what I had accomplished...and knowing that hill and I will meet again...next week (agh!).

Later this week I had a 7-mile tempo run.  I have a course that I pretty much love and can easily pace myself on, so I headed on to that.  It was going well and then I got to the hardest part...a giant hill.  Where I usually do my best on it and get through it okay, this time I looked at that hill will fresh eyes.  Ha, I thought!  Only 1!  I can totally do that.  I charged the hill much like I had a few days earlier, although a little slower, but with much more confidence.   I had one smaller hill at the end of my run and approached it with much the same attitude.

That giant hill mile was one of the fastest times I had on that particular mile.  Thanks hill workout!  I thought you were just there to beat me up and wear me out, not to give me strength and confidence for later.  You have my respect now...and hopefully, I won't drag my feet to get out there next week...maybe.

Oh, and on a side note, my hamstrings are still screaming from those hills 4 days later.  I'm trying to lengthen my stride a little bit on the uphills so they are less impactful on my knees, and apparently, my lazy hamstrings aren't big fans of that.  You'll adjust my friends.  You'll adjust.

How about you?  Do you do hill workouts or do usually avoid them like I do?  If you run them, what does your version look like?  What helps you get up that hill over and over again?  I'd love to hear your stories too!

Initial Thoughts

 I'm not really sure why I'm starting this blog.  I feel like it's something that will help me to get out some of my thoughts, but hopefully help and inspire others as well.  The truth is, I love running.  I always have.  The family I grew up in wasn't really a sports family, so I discovered athletics at a little older age.  When I was 11 or 12 I started hanging around with a group of girls that were TOTALLY into sports and they became my people.  We, with all the neighborhood boys, spent our days playing: basketball, football, hockey, tennis, you name it, we did it.  I also got involved with Jr. League basketball and flag-football teams.  Fun times!  There was something about sports that I totally loved.  I love the exhilaration of running up and down a field or court, beating as many people there as I could, and just feeling like I could keep going forever.  What I didn't like was my hand-eye coordination was a little lacking. With practice, I overcame some of that, but not a lot.

Around that same time, I noticed runners out "jogging" every once in a while and so I decided I could give that a try.  I pushed myself a little further each time until I could run to the end of my neighborhood and back, which just so happened to be 3 miles.  That was the beginning.  Looking back now, I realize my love for other sports stemmed from my love for running.  Running has become a way of life for me, but it was very gradual...a story for another time.

So, why the blog?  Here's the truth.  I spend more time thinking about running than anyone around me actually wants to hear about running, so I think this will be a good outlet.  I don't have many runner friends right now and I can see people's eyes glaze over when I've been talking about running for too long.  If you're an enthusiastic runner or even passionate about another subject, you know what I'm talking about.  This way I can talk about running, either just to myself or to readers who know what they are getting themselves into.  You've been warned!  If you are interested in talking about running, talk away.  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, suggest topics for posts, or let me know if you'd be willing to be a guest blogger.  So, with that, welcome to my blog.  I run a lot, but even more, I think about running, and I want to talk about it...with anyone (or no one) who will listen.